


and we're only getting started

by hyacinth4maria



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: After Nationals, Angst with a dash of hope, Introspection, KageHina Rivalry, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29875356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinth4maria/pseuds/hyacinth4maria
Summary: On the ride back home from Nationals, Hinata holds Kageyama's hand.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	and we're only getting started

**Author's Note:**

> hinata angst for a few seconds because im rereading and im sad

Hinata wakes the morning after he'd burned himself alive feeling better in all the ways that don't matter.

His fever must've broken sometime in the night, Takeda-sensei had said when he'd checked on him. Hinata had only smiled, accepting his breakfast with a quiet, "Thank you."

He wasn't as hot as before, but his skin still felt clammy, and he still shivered from constant chills. Takeda-sensei thought it best if he spent a little more time alone, so as not to risk more illness.

Again, he would be eating alone, quarantined with his sickness.

The night before, he'd been almost glad to eat alone, almost glad that he didn't have to face them or their concern. For all of a night, he had hated himself. He felt guilty for having gotten sick, for having cost them the game.

"Don't go thinking you're so important now!" Tanaka had yelled at him, red in the face and more than a little teary, sniffing as he continued, "You're not the only point-getter in this team, we hardly even felt your loss!"

But when the team had visited last night, all of them crowding his small room, they'd all been laughing too loudly, trying desperately to compensate for their shared sadness, for the tears that would slip through every other second. They'd visited again this morning, all at different times, a bit quieter now, but still with those forced smiles and jokes. Hinata had appreciated it, but he couldn't help but feel pitied. Only Kageyama treated him the same, with his grunts and his glares, everyone else stepped around him like glass. 

Even still, he'd rather be in the midst of them and their awkward smiles than alone, wallowing in his thoughts.

Hinata had never been the type to feel lonely, but in those moments, he felt the loss of his teammates. He could hear them through the thin walls of the inn, their muffled voices, and sporadic laughter. He wishes he could be with them too. He wishes their laughter were more sincere. He wishes their voices weren't so soft. He wishes he weren't sick and miserable and alone. He wishes they had won yesterday.

Hinata wishes, but he isn't the type to waste time on wishing. Instead, he takes a deep breath and eats.

He doesn't let himself cry. He'd promised himself, the night before, that he'd use up all his tears in one go, and after, he wouldn't pity himself. He'd start getting better.

So, Hinata eats. Hinata eats and breaths and eats. 

_This is no end,_ he reminds himself.

Taking a swig of his water, he reminds himself of Coach Ukai's words, repeats Takeda-sensei's advice, and makes himself remember Kageyama's infuriating words.

"I win this time, too." He'd said.

Sometimes, Hinata hates Kageyama.

Hates the calmness of his voice, hates his unwavering eyes, his seemingly insurmountable strength.

And Hinata had hated him in that moment. He'd wanted to scream in frustration, wanted to rip himself free of Takeda-sensei's hold, wanted to throw himself onto the court, prove to Kageyama that he could still win, that he could still fight. 

But he can only ever hate Kageyama in moments, in brief spurts.

Afterward, all there's left is a feral excitement.

Hinata can't wait to throw those words back in Kageyama's face. He can't wait to play alongside him again, can't wait to play against him.

But first, he has to get better.

And these terrible moments won't matter at all when he does.

After all, that's all they are. Moments. Brief, brief moments. Soon, Hinata will stand on the court again. 

There's no use for mourning when there will be a tomorrow. 

So, Hinata eats. And he plans.

The team leaves Tokyo not long after. Hinata smiles at his teammates under his mask, and it feels easier. 

He takes his seat next to Kageyama.

There's an airy lightness in Hinata's chest. He thinks it tastes something like hope.

He looks around the bus, at all these familiar faces. He looks up at Kageyama, at his regal features and his calm eyes.

Hinata thinks of the future.

_I have so much more to grow._

He smiles, soft and small and sour.

_I have so much more to grow._

He'll beat Kageyama someday, maybe tomorrow, maybe a decade in the future, but he knows that he will. Just like he knew on that fateful day they met.

All he can do now is be glad for the past and look towards the future.

With that sentiment, he sighs and reaches his hand over to Kageyama and slips his fingers through his.

Hinata doesn't say anything, he only grins. 

Kageyama is startled, but something on Hinata's face makes his eyes soften and he mirrors Hinata's smile with his own.

It'll always comfort Hinata to know that he and Kageyama are but two people sharing twin souls.

Kageyama squeezes his hand and Hinata's heart unclenches.

He presses closer into Kageyama's side, lets his lungs deflate, and melts into the bus seat. Nobody will tease them for it (although Tsukishima will, very badly, want to), not even when Hinata falls asleep on Kageyama's shoulder and snores like a lawnmower, or when Kageyama runs his unclaimed hand through Hinata's unruly hair with a tiny smile. And their hands might be occasionally unlinked, but they'll find each other again, despite Hinata's clamminess and Kageyama's hourly finger stretches. 

Because no matter what, the best place for Hinata's hands is in Kageyama's. 

And that's where they'll be, for the rest of the ride and until they get home. When Kageyama and Hinata say goodbye, Kageyama will squeeze his hand one last time and grin, a little breathless and a little wild, and Hinata will mirror it, running his thumb over Kageyama's knuckles. Yesterday, they faced defeat, but the road still stretches on, endlessly into the unknown. 

They have so much more to grow. 

**Author's Note:**

> ta da!!
> 
> hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/hyacinth4maria?s=09) if you wanna cry with me


End file.
